We can get very angry

LETTER From an existing to a future father – some good German advice to Prince William

Dear William,

let me first say, I am so happy with You and Your wife! I did follow very much the „Breastaffaire“ and my thought always was, this is a good sign for a new King or Queen, when Kate is so relaxed, and I was really angry to see, that You two couldn’t just love you in peace! I had to say this to You, I feel better now – so I can tell you something, William, about getting a father.

You are now 30 years old – a good age for a father! (I had 32 which was even better when I got father, but let us not discuss this.) Let’s instead get to the point, William: Most fathers, they think that change beginns, when the child is there. William: This is not true. Change beginns now! For example I read that you like skiing. Please, William, think of the Netherlands Prince! Stop it immediately! I further read that you are a pilot. I don’t have to tell about the rays that could damage your capabilities, because now as we say in german „Der Schaden ist schon angerichtet“ (this is a joke!). I could tell You so much about rays, You know that we in Germany with our „Energie-Change“ are very, very sensitive to the issue of environment! But I will just say: Stop flying immedately, William.

Kate needs you now, and we need You too. You know perhaps that we once made a big mistake. We sent away our kings and became (against our will!!) instead a „Leader“. And he had no childs! Worse: When he finally married he and his wife killed themselves instantely after! Now we here look with desire over the canal, we want to be the closest possible to the most intimate things a Man and a Woman can do. Do not disappoint us! We can get very angry – perhaps Your grandmother can tell You – if we are disappointed! An we rule now ze continent! William I got into „labern“ as we say. I wish You and Your wonderful Kate an Your son or daughter all the best, really by heart! AMBROS WAIBEL